As stated in my last post Helen Thorpe is an excellent butler.
In A Meditation on Murder by Susan Juby, she is working for the wealthy Levine family.
Her attention to detail and style is reflected in a lunch she organizes for the Levine's and their guests, Archie Hightower and his daughter, Cartier.
She works with Chef to set up a special menu but I was most struck by the setting she created:
The table was decorated entirely in cream and pink in honour of Ms. Cartier Hightower’s alleged girly-girlness. Pale-pink stocks and white peonies ran the length of the table in small vases. The dinnerware was also pink and white, and the linen napkins were large and white, with the faintest pink pinstriping The colour palette looked extremely appealing against the large Monet painting that hung behind the dining table.
Who would not love to sit down at such a table.
Yet what I think makes the fictional Helen and 21st Century butlers I have met stand out is their unobtrusive attentiveness.
Helen feels no need to fill silence. She will answer questions directly and simply. She will ask questions to aid her understanding of people and be sure she has instructions correctly. At the same time she is comfortable with not talking.
Helen radiates calm. The butlers in my experience from Oceania cruises display the same calm. It has a positive effect on the restless, the emotionally wrought. Being around a truly calm person relaxes anxiety.
It is not easy to be mindful. Helen has to struggle not let life turn into “avoidance and aversion”.
Cartier, as with many millennials, craves attention.
Butlers are fine examples of people who draw attention by not seeking attention. Their discretion is uncommon in the world of the 21st Century. People notice someone content with not looking for attention by word or action or attire.
Helen does not look to be constantly photographed, videoed and connected to the internet. She thinks of “hearing tales, probably apocryphal, about traditional peoples who would not allow themselves to be photographed lest their souls be stolen”.
Helen sets out the essence of being a butler:
“..... I like looking after people. Making things go smoothly.”
Could you be a butler?
The International Butler Academy in the Netherlands advises:
Welcome to a world of style, elegance, and decorum. A world of exceptional service. Step into our school for butlers, where dreams take flight and professionalism is cultivated. Here, we craft individuals into extraordinary professionals who embody the epitome of service. With our unrivaled training and unwavering commitment to excellence, we empower aspiring butlers to become masters of their craft.
Students range in age from 18 to 68.
The Academy is convinced manners matter:
At many Fortune 500 companies, top management takes potential employees to lunch or dinner to observe their comfort level with executives, spouses, waiters, and even the various pieces of silverware. Management will compare good manners with competence in business and poor manners with incompetence.
I wish I saw more evidence in the world we live in that manners are important.
I am glad that Canadian courts expect lawyers to be civil to everyone in the courtroom. Emotions may be high during trials but I see civility maintained.
The world needs more butlers.
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